I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Are my feet made of real feet?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
