Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
