You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
