Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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