kristin has been a bad kristin
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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