And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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