I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
