Are we in a gay sports bar?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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