i would punch a child for taco bell
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
