I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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