I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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