you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
