I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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