who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
