why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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