if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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