shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
