i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize