I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
