I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
