8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's blow job season.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
