How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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