Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
