Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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