He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
