shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
