He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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