I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
