He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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