So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just googled if crying burns calories
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Randomize
