drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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