If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
