Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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