Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
