p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
