I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
