just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
