You just made me feel so damn special
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize