it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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