Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize