I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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