come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
