okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
