Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
