all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you never un-have a 4some
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
