oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
