my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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