i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
