There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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