Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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