before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
