Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I touched a dick in church today
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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