I think my vagina is haunted
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize