You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
