the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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