i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize