Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize