Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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