i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
