sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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